Something They Need, Want, Read and Wear: How We Do Christmas Presents With Three Children

Christmas with three children can very easily turn into buying for the sake of buying. You pick up a few presents, order something they’ve asked for, spot something else while you’re out and then suddenly wonder where half of it came from.

Over the years, we’ve tried to become a bit more thoughtful about what we buy. One idea we come back to is giving them something they need, something they want, something they read and something to wear.

I definitely can’t claim we stick perfectly to four presents each. We don’t! Sometimes there will be a few things in one category, and it really depends on what we can find and what the children have asked for that year. I see it much more as a guide that helps us think about what we’re buying rather than a strict Christmas rule.

Why We Started Thinking Differently About Christmas Presents

I love Christmas and I love buying things for my children, but I don’t think the number of presents under the tree is what makes Christmas special.

It is incredibly easy to get caught up in thinking there isn’t enough. You look at the pile, compare children, remember something else they mentioned months ago and suddenly another order has been placed.

Having the need, want, read and wear idea in the back of my mind gives me something to come back to. Have we actually got things they will use? Is there something they’ve really asked for? Have I bought their books? Is there something useful they need anyway?

It helps me stop looking at the number of presents and start looking at what’s actually in them.

Something They Need

This category is probably the least exciting sounding, but it can actually be really useful with children because they constantly grow out of things.

It might be something for a hobby, something they’ve needed replacing or an item we would have bought anyway. I’m not going to pretend every child will be thrilled to unwrap something incredibly practical, so I still try to make this something that feels like a present rather than just wrapping up something from the weekly shopping!

The advantage is that at least I know it will be used rather than forgotten about by Boxing Day.

Something They Want

Our children normally have a few requests for Christmas, and we choose from those rather than feeling like we need to buy everything they’ve mentioned.

This is where I think keeping a bit of perspective really helps. Children can want something desperately one week and completely forget about it the next. We try to think about which things they’re genuinely likely to play with, use or enjoy for longer than those first few minutes after opening them.

Sometimes those presents are brand new and sometimes we find them preloved. Games for the Switch or PlayStation, LEGO, bikes and board games are all things I’m very happy to buy second hand.

Our children know when their presents are preloved. We’ve always been open about it and it’s completely normal in our house.

Something They Read

Books are a big part of Christmas in our house. We normally give each child a bundle rather than just one, and this is another area where buying second hand can make your budget go much further.

I love being able to choose books specifically for each child based on what they’re interested in at the time. They don’t all need to be pristine new releases. There are so many brilliant children’s books already sitting on shelves waiting for another reader.

A preloved book contains exactly the same story as a new one, and if buying second hand means I can put together a better bundle for the same amount of money, that works perfectly for us.

Books are also one of those presents that tend to stick around. They can be read again, passed between siblings and eventually passed on to another family.

Something They Wear

I obviously have a bit of an advantage with this one because I spend my working life surrounded by children’s clothes!

We’ll often give them something like a snugglesuit or some “new” preloved clothing for Christmas. I try to choose things they’ll actually be excited to wear rather than buying clothes simply because they need clothes.

That might be a favourite brand, a really lovely jumper, a character top, a dress they’ve chosen or something particularly cosy for winter.

Buying preloved also means I can often choose better quality brands without paying the original price. I’d much rather find a lovely quality piece second hand that will be worn repeatedly than buy something just because it’s new.

We Don’t Actually Stick to Four Presents

This is probably the most important bit because I don’t want this to sound like one of those lovely Christmas systems that looks perfect online but doesn’t work in a real house.

We don’t necessarily buy exactly one thing from each category.

There might be several books. There could be a couple of things they’ve asked for. We might find more than one preloved clothing item that is perfect for them. It varies depending on the child, their age, what they need and what we find.

The rule is there to help us, not make Christmas stressful.

For me, it’s simply a way of stopping and thinking, “Why am I buying this?”

If the answer is that they’ll love it, use it or genuinely need it, great. If I’m only buying it because I’m worried their pile of presents doesn’t look big enough, I probably need to stop.

My Simplest Tip: Keep a Christmas List on Your Phone

One of the most useful things I do has nothing to do with beautifully organised Christmas planners. I use the Notes app on my phone.

I keep a list for each child of what we’ve bought and any ideas we’re still considering. If you’re buying presents over several months, it is incredibly easy to forget what you’ve already hidden away.

Even better, make it a shared note with your partner or whoever you’re buying with. Then everyone can see what has already been bought and you don’t accidentally duplicate things or both keep adding presents.

This is especially useful when you shop second hand because you might find the perfect present months before Christmas. I’m very happy to buy something when I see it and put it away, but I need that list to remind me it exists!

It also helps when grandparents or family ask for ideas because you can see what’s missing rather than suggesting more things just because you can’t remember what you already have.

Talking to Our Children About Buying Less

We’ve always been quite open with our children about preloved shopping and why we don’t need everything to be brand new.

We talk about how much stuff already exists in the world and how we can reuse things rather than constantly needing more. But I also think it’s important not to make children feel guilty for wanting presents. Christmas should still be exciting.

The conversation in our house is more about using our money for things that genuinely bring us joy rather than things that make us happy for five minutes.

As the children have got older, they’ve understood this much more. From around five, we found it became easier to talk about experiences as presents too, because they could understand that a day out or something special together was a present even if there wasn’t a huge box to unwrap.

It Doesn’t Have to Look Perfect

I think this is the bit I’ve learnt most after three children.

Christmas doesn’t have to follow somebody else’s rules.

You don’t need exactly four presents because somebody on the internet says that's the right amount. You don’t need twenty presents because that’s what somebody else is doing either.

One child might desperately want one expensive thing. Another might have lots of little interests. You might find an amazing bundle of second hand books or a preloved item they’ve wanted for months.

For us, “something they need, something they want, something they read and something to wear” simply gives Christmas shopping a bit of structure.

It reminds me that I’m trying to buy things with a purpose rather than fill space under the tree.

Final Thoughts

I still love seeing presents under the tree on Christmas morning. I love finding something I know one of my children is going to be excited about, and I certainly haven’t turned Christmas into a minimalist exercise!

But having a simple guide has helped us become much more considered about what we buy.

Some presents are new, plenty are preloved, there are normally lots of books, and there will almost certainly be something useful mixed in too.

The children still get the excitement of Christmas morning, but hopefully we end up with fewer things that are forgotten about a week later.

And if I do find myself wondering whether I should just buy one more thing, I can check the shared list on my phone before I do!